Tips and Warnings: How to survive as a young, single mum
It is difficult enough being a single mum for any woman, but being young, single, and broke can sometimes feel like your world is ending. I will be giving you a tiny helping hand by providing you with some ideas to help you keep your head up :D
TIPS
1) Tip number one ...Do NOT give up! Life will get better! There is hope! There is always light at the end of the tunnel! And Sunshine after a storm! How's that for a first tip ;)
2) Get all your income and expenses together and make yourself a financial plan, it's easier than it sounds and will help you loads if you stick to it.
3) Whether it's doing your GCSEs, enrolling to a college or university or simply reading a book or newspaper, Expand your education at every opportunity! Your kids will thank you for it.
4) Use the internet or local library to find information; you can get an answer for practically anything - benefits, work, education or your local nursery or children's centre.
5) Widen your circle of positive and productive people in your life and reduce those who are negative and unproductive.You know what you're doing and the only people you need to make happy are your kids.
6) Accept all the help you can get. I was reluctant to accept help in the past and it would've been much simpler if I had at times. Saying that, don't expect help from family and friends just because that's what they are, people have their own lives and problems. Always remember to help others once you are able to.
7) Reduce feelings of being overwhelmed by compartmentalizing your problems. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once.
8) If you are feeling sad or depressed, try not to show it to your children. Easier said than done but they will know of your troubles already and it could impact their behaviour which could in turn make you feel worse.
9) When you have a child, expect the unexpected, so always try to save money. Know the difference between needs and wants. This is a time to focus on you and your child's needs. Any money left over should be saved.
10) "You" time is so so important, at least once to twice a month ask a trusted family member or friend to watch baby so you can meet with friends to chat. There are a lot of fun activities which are cheap and cheerful. If you don't have anyone to watch your kids, a simple bubble bath with a few candles and lovely scents after you've put them to bed always helps after a long day.
Last but not least, do your best to get child support from the father. This is not the time for false pride, if it's not going to make matters worse then go for it.
WARNINGS
1) Warning numero uno: Do NOT fall in love! ..Okay maybe that's a little harsh, but if you must, do not fall in love with men if they do not like kids -_- Some men, especially single young ones, know when they are uncomfortable around children, and you don't want these people around anyway. Your children don't deserve to be unhappy and neither do you.
1b) If you do find a man who enjoys children, don't depend on him to save you. He could be hit by a car tomorrow and then where would you be? Depend on yourself even if things seem secure.
2) Do not have another baby until you can afford it. If you always wanted four kids but you can only afford one, you mayy have to change plans to provide for the child you have now.
3) Try not to be so hard on yourself, being the best mum you can be for your children's future is the task at hand. You won't be poor and alone forever if you stay positive and motivated!!
Things you will need:
1) A lot of tissues
2) Friends or family.. or pets.. to talk to. (walls don't have the same effect)
3) As much education as possible
4) A blog?
TIPS
1) Tip number one ...Do NOT give up! Life will get better! There is hope! There is always light at the end of the tunnel! And Sunshine after a storm! How's that for a first tip ;)
2) Get all your income and expenses together and make yourself a financial plan, it's easier than it sounds and will help you loads if you stick to it.
3) Whether it's doing your GCSEs, enrolling to a college or university or simply reading a book or newspaper, Expand your education at every opportunity! Your kids will thank you for it.
4) Use the internet or local library to find information; you can get an answer for practically anything - benefits, work, education or your local nursery or children's centre.
5) Widen your circle of positive and productive people in your life and reduce those who are negative and unproductive.You know what you're doing and the only people you need to make happy are your kids.
6) Accept all the help you can get. I was reluctant to accept help in the past and it would've been much simpler if I had at times. Saying that, don't expect help from family and friends just because that's what they are, people have their own lives and problems. Always remember to help others once you are able to.
7) Reduce feelings of being overwhelmed by compartmentalizing your problems. This means that you look at each one by itself, instead of looking at all of them at once.
8) If you are feeling sad or depressed, try not to show it to your children. Easier said than done but they will know of your troubles already and it could impact their behaviour which could in turn make you feel worse.
9) When you have a child, expect the unexpected, so always try to save money. Know the difference between needs and wants. This is a time to focus on you and your child's needs. Any money left over should be saved.
10) "You" time is so so important, at least once to twice a month ask a trusted family member or friend to watch baby so you can meet with friends to chat. There are a lot of fun activities which are cheap and cheerful. If you don't have anyone to watch your kids, a simple bubble bath with a few candles and lovely scents after you've put them to bed always helps after a long day.
Last but not least, do your best to get child support from the father. This is not the time for false pride, if it's not going to make matters worse then go for it.
WARNINGS
1) Warning numero uno: Do NOT fall in love! ..Okay maybe that's a little harsh, but if you must, do not fall in love with men if they do not like kids -_- Some men, especially single young ones, know when they are uncomfortable around children, and you don't want these people around anyway. Your children don't deserve to be unhappy and neither do you.
1b) If you do find a man who enjoys children, don't depend on him to save you. He could be hit by a car tomorrow and then where would you be? Depend on yourself even if things seem secure.
2) Do not have another baby until you can afford it. If you always wanted four kids but you can only afford one, you mayy have to change plans to provide for the child you have now.
3) Try not to be so hard on yourself, being the best mum you can be for your children's future is the task at hand. You won't be poor and alone forever if you stay positive and motivated!!
Things you will need:
1) A lot of tissues
2) Friends or family.. or pets.. to talk to. (walls don't have the same effect)
3) As much education as possible
4) A blog?
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