I can do everything, but can I do it at the same time?

I do not always know how to split my time, I don't know how to split myself. It's almost as if I need to have a dual personality going on. I get confused.

How can I be a single mother and a university student and a 21 year old fresher? I don't know if I can anymore.

Sometimes I think I need to quickly get my education sorted now, whilst my child is young so that when he's older we will be sorted. But sometimes I think I should be concentrating 100% on raising my son because I am the one that made the decision to bring him into this world, so therefore should be meeting all his requirements and making sacrifices.

Then I think my son will always need me in one way or another, so if I wait until he is older to go to university I'll probably be waiting until he's 18. We may as well be freshers together. lol

Then I think I hardly spend time with him, since everything in our home is so routine based and controlled I feel like everything is a rush. Breakfast, morning run, uni / nursery, collect him, bath, dinner, bed. Then I may need to study...or blog so I don't implode.

Even if I do manage to do the student mum bit, I realise I have no friends. The friends I have are the ones  I've have for years. Making friends has never been an issue for me. But like anything else friends need time and attention and I don't have that.

And then sometimes I think, maybe I am thinking too much and I just need to get on with it.

They say the only thing scarier than failure is regret. But the truth is, I'd rather regret not going to university than regret not being a good mum.